4 Reasons it Breaks My Heart When You Ask “Are You Okay with a Gay Wedding?”

  • By Derek Hoffman
  • 10 Jun, 2017
KC Mobile DJ Office
"We're a gay couple, are you okay with that?" The only question that breaks my heart more than that is “Are you okay with pineapple on your pizza?  The short answer to this question is, “Hell yes! I'm okay with that!” (The gay wedding thing… not the pineapple thing).  The long answer is, “Of course I’m okay with doing a gay wedding and it breaks my heart you even had to ask.  Here’s why it makes me want to cry…”

4. This tells me you may have been refused service elsewhere.

“No thanks - I don’t want cooties”
It's 2017. (Unless you’re reading this next year, then… um... it’s 2018.) The fact that anyone still fears expressing their love is just sad. How anyone can turn away two hearts that want to be united – it's unfathomable.  Yet, there are wedding coordinators, videographers, DJs and more who still turn clients away.  Our friend Neyan Babani with Photos by Neyan , a Kansas City based wedding photographer, scrambled to help one of her couples find a videographer at the last second when their original one cancelled as soon as he found out he'd be filming 2 girls - also known as “ Most men’s dream come true .”  

Even if you haven’t been refused service,

3. Marriage equality has been federally recognized for years now.

Sure, the law doesn't require that vendors have to work with you.  And that may be a good thing for both parties.
After all, we still want to be protected from assholes wielding ketchup covered axes.
Some amazing vendors, like Amy Castro at the Overland Park Ballroom , a wedding venue Overland Park, KS, took the added precautionary step for one wedding by calling the police to prevent protestors from sabotaging the day.  I'm sure they have the right to protest weddings all they want... but do these protesters know there is a bigger crime out there than a same-sex wedding? 
Exhibit A: A perfectly good excuse for the death penalty.
Vendors can claim they are simply booked and you’ll never know the truth.  But it still confuses me why anyone turns away gay business because,

2. Gay Dollars Spend the Same as Straight Dollars.

It’s not like gay clients are trying to pay with gay only money.


We’re looking at you, Canada

I’m sure money that "the gays" give you can be spent on anything.  In fact, Roy McCaulley with  Crystal Entertainment , another Kansas City based DJ company who is almost as good as us, used his gay client dollars to invest in new DJ equipment.  He doesn’t recall the stores asking if he received the money from “a gay” either.  Netanya Stroud of Netanya's Pix  (another wedding photographer) used her gay client dollars to pay her car payment.  And you know what?  Mazda is still letting her drive her sweet Mazda 5.

Beep-beep for equality, bitches!
I personally have no idea how many gay dollars I’ve received, but I can tell you every dollar I’ve ever spent has been a gay dollar.  That’s because,

1. I am a gay, married, wedding-business owner.

Look at my beautiful family. LOOK!

I know how hard it is to ask a vendor if they’re okay with a gay wedding because I too was once in your fabulous shoes.  I also had to ask vendors if they were willing to work with a gay couple.  It can be terrifying.

If you want to work with a company that is comfortable with gay weddings, or who can direct you to vendors who support your love, contact us.  We’re happy to help.

Derek is the owner (but doesn’t like that title) of KC Mobile DJ & Photography, an event service provider in Kansas City.  You can follow KC Mobile DJ on the Facebooks and Instagrams or contact Derek at derek@kcmobiledj.com .
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By Derek Hoffman 10 Jun, 2017
"We're a gay couple, are you okay with that?" The only question that breaks my heart more than that is “Are you okay with pineapple on your pizza?  The short answer to this question is, “Hell yes! I'm okay with that!” (The gay wedding thing… not the pineapple thing).  The long answer is, “Of course I’m okay with doing a gay wedding and it breaks my heart you even had to ask.  Here’s why it makes me want to cry…”
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