4 Things To Consider When Telling Vendors to Kick Rocks
Did you inquire with multiple companies for wedding services? Here's the best way to decide whether or not to tell them and how.
Because Levity Events is a wedding DJ company that believes in community over competition, we encourage our awesome clients to update other wedding DJ companies they inquired with to let them know you're all set on mobile DJ services and no longer require their assistance.
Depending how deep the conversation went with the other wedding DJs, contacting them can almost feel like a breakup. It's not fun. We get it. Only masochists enjoy sending those kinds of messages. But believe it or not, wedding professionals prefer those messages compared to silence. Of course, it's entirely up to you whether or not to notify them, and even just considering whether or not to send the message can add stress to an already stressful situation. It's like selecting the song you want to walk down the aisle to, then having to tell the other 47 official versions of the song, "Sorry, but you suck."
So the first question to ask yourself would be,
1. Should I Tell them?
The first step is deciding whether or not you should. Here's a handy pro/con chart. Submit a comment at the bottom of this post if there are more pros/cons and we'll be happy to update the list.
Should I Notify The Other Vendors?
PROS
- Removed from email lists
- Stops future contact attempts
- Provides closure
- Gives you warm and fuzzies
CONS
- Takes time away from fiancé, family and friends
As a wedding vendor, I may be a little biased, but I strongly favor notifying others they weren't your pick. Ghosting isn't just for 80% of millennials seeking love. We see it when applying for jobs, calling customer support, and quite a bit in the wedding industry. How many jobs have you applied for and heard nothing back? It can be frustrating. Even a "sorry, we went another direction" email provides some sense of closure. An acknowledgement that you exist and were considered.
Most wedding businesses are operated by a single owner, who (aside from one slightly questionable DJ I've met), is definitely a human being, with emotions, families, friends and obligations. There is a real person on the other end of that email. Someone who stepped away from their loved ones and spent time responding to questions. They put in the energy following up on an inquiry or conversation and might still be holding out hope.
What seems to happen is similar to the "My vote doesn't matter" viewpoint. A few people ghosting us here and there is easy to handle. From our own experience, 1 out of every 3 people who contact us, we never hear from again.
Less than 5% of the people who decide to hire someone else actually informed us we weren't the right fit for them. Believe it or not, I want to kiss each and every one of them for providing closure and allowing me to focus my time on better serving our clients. As much as it stinks to lose a sale, the level of R-E-S-P-E-C-T I feel from a rejection is astounding. Continue reading to find out what it means to me.
Some have asked me, "Derek, why do you care so much? What does it matter? Can you please play Lizzo? It's the bride's favorite"
It wouldn't be an understatement to say mental health plagues our industry. A wedding business is an extension of its owner. Each potential client is a personal connection for us and it becomes difficult to separate personal identity from a business identity. Heck, wedding business owners are so attached to their businesses, 90% of wedding DJs, wedding photographers, and wedding coordinators named their businesses after themselves.
(I didn't fact check that, but I'll bet you ten dollars that 90% is an underestimation.)
Mental health is such a staggering problem in our industry, that according to this 2018 CDC Report, our industry suffers the second highest suicide rate by occupation and is number one the fastest growing. In no way is ghosting vendors implicating a client for someone's mental health (or lack thereof). The reason I bring this up, is when good people know better, good people do better. Levity is unbelievably lucky to work with good people. (Shout out to all our awesome clients! Woot! Woot!)
If you decided to tell vendors their service is no longer needed, now the next question is,
2. Should I Tell Them... The Reason Why?
There are 2 camps on this too. Should I tell them why, or Don't Tell 'em? (Don't tell 'em).
...I'm a Dad and a DJ - I should have warned about terrible puns.
Should we do another Pro/Con comparison chart? Yeah, let's do another.
Should I Tell Them The Reason Why?
PROS
- They can improve based on feedback
- Other clients likely to receive better service
- Breaking up via text is totally acceptable
CONS
- Could hurt their feelings (likely negated by the mere fact of being informed)
This can be even more difficult than deciding whether or not to tell them.
There are so many reasons one might not choose a vendor
- Pricing
- Reputation
- Flexibility
- Personality conflict
- No longer needed
- "Clicked" better with someone else
- The vendor didn't offer what was needed
- The vendor likes pineapple on their pizza
Pricing is almost always the primary reason vendors lose clients. It is invaluable to have that feedback and as petty as wedding business owners are, we do *not* judge those who went with a cheaper option. We judge people who request the Chicken Dance.
That's one of the beautiful parts of the wedding industry. It's an evolving array of needs and offerings. Levity didn't start out as one of the best DJ companies in Kansas City. Nobody starts at the top. We don't fit everyone's budgets now either. Wedding DJs (and vendors in general) understand different people have different needs, budgets and priorities.
Story Time: I once had a bride beat me up over my price at a time when I charged $700 a night, just to walk in and see $15,000 in floral and $3,500 on dessert stations (Plural - stationS). I didn't get too bent out of shape though. Just regular out of shape.
I've also had clients pay $3,500 to spin in a dank VFW Hall, filled with uncovered buffet tables, and metal folding chairs while guests lined up for their cut of a 6 foot long Party Sub.
The point is, everyone prioritizes wedding services differently and that's okay. Telling someone they're out of your budget is nothing to be ashamed of and that's invaluable information businesses owners crave. If you're comfortable, please, tell your vendors why you went with another service.
If it's a personality conflict, or their reputation - that's information that will help them improve and do better for future couples, even if one of those future couples isn't you.
3. How Should I Tell Them?
Email!
I mean, if you want to call, text or meet face to face, that's cool too. But your time is valuable and you'll feel better just by sending a simple email. See templates below you can copy and paste.
Pro Tip: For maximum effectiveness, send the email to yourself, and BCC all the others on one single message (removing the VENDORNAME piece, of course)
Copy the desired section below and replace the bolded text with real information
Template 1: Simple
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Subject: Thanks for the information!
Hi VENDORNAME!
After careful consideration, we have decided on another VENDOR for our wedding. If anything changes, we'll be in touch. Thank you again for your help.
All the best,
YOURNAME
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Template 2: Including Reason
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Subject: Thanks for the information!
Hi VENDORNAME!
After careful consideration, we have decided on another VENDOR for our wedding. In the end, the deciding factor was price/their flexibility/our personal connection with them/their experience with our venue and vendors/their reviews/having everything we needed.
If anything changes, we'll be in touch. Thank you again for your help.
All the best,
YOURNAME
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4. What If They Respond Wanting To Know More Details?
It's entirely up to you. In fact, this whole process is entirely up to you!
Tell 'em.
or...
Don't tell 'em.
Feel free to use the above templates outside of weddings too. Send it to the companies who quoted to stain your deck, mow your lawn, or goldplate your toilets. (That's a thing people do, right?)
Now let's make this world a better place and bust some ghosts!
Fridays, Evenings and Weekends by Appointment
