10 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Own Wedding - Part 2

  • By Derek Hoffman
  • 24 Jun, 2017
KC Wedding DJ Wedding Sabotage

Last week we graced you with How You May be Sabotaging Your Wedding: Part 1 , and even though we'll probably have a gazillion more blog posts on this, we continue this week with How You May be Sabotaging Your Own Wedding: Part 2.

 We left you with the shocking fact that you may be doing TOO MUCH wedding planning. So, naturally, to begin this week's list of sabotage:

5.  Not Enough Wedding Planning

You’ve hired professionals and booked everyone from your DJ to your caterer - great!  But your job isn’t over.  Don’t start tossing back tequila shots and wiping your hands off yet.  
KC Wedding DJ Drunk Bride Drinking Champagne
“Wait… there’s more to do than just drink?”

Your job is still just beginning.  We’ve had wedding clients who pretty much refused to give us any wedding details… as if they assume we’ll have all the details transmitted to us via osmosis or they’re trying to intentionally sabotage their own wedding.  How is your DJ or band supposed to know what you want for your first dance song if YOU. DON’T. TELL. THEM?  

You told your florist you want pink and white floral arrangements?  Cool… do you want tall arrangements? Short arrangements?  What types of flowers and filler do you want? Clear vases, wide vases?  Shelley Rundberg with  Shelley Rundberg Couture Wedding Flower s  has seen it all when it comes to floral designs.  One of the common deadly wedding sins committed against her is when a couple gives her their design and a “vague budget”.  So Shelley will pour her heart and soul into a floral design, only to find out it’s nowhere near their floral budget.
KC Wedding DJ Angry Florist Floral Arrangement F U
“Here is the arrangement you get for wasting my time”
How to fix it:  If you want to leave it all up to your wedding professionals and have them make 100% of the decisions, awesome...but you have to communicate that to them!  Simply say, “I want to be as hands off as possible… here’s a check… make it pretty.”  Otherwise, plan to reply to emails, phone calls, text messages and smoke signals promptly.  Most couples expect vendors to reply promptly, right?  Is it too much to ask to return the courtesy?  On that note though, one of the number one ways we see our clients try to sabotage their own day is when they,

4. Ignore or don’t check their email regularly.

Engaged couples these days are generally made up of the infamous Millennial generation, who tend to communicate through snapchat, instagram and indiscreet giggles at the dinner table about who knows what.
KC Wedding DJ Family Dinner Last Supper
Our generation’s version of The Last Supper.

But here’s the deal… we’re businesses trying to communicate effectively.  We rely on email to reference back to and to organize.  We have dozens if not hundreds of people we’re trying to coordinate with and it’s nearly impossible to keep track of communication efforts through a dozen different apps.

 If you don’t check your email regularly, you’re pretty much sabotaging your own wedding.


 For something a little more in depth, solution: Turn on your email notifications then *Wha-la!*  You’re now an expert emailer who knows when there is something important in your inbox. (Which is usually ALL THE TIME).  

 Checking your email regularly never hurts, but something that may hurt would be,

3. Hiring “Friends”

Yeah… this is what all your friends in the wedding industry want to do.  Work your wedding.  There’s no way they’d rather be getting turnt at the open bar or have an actual spot at a table like a real human being.
KC Wedding DJ Gavin Farrington Laughing Bride Laughing Groom Rehearsal Dinner
“And then she thought we were going to feed her too!”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for my friends and family for hiring me in my early days.  I would have never been able to build the experience I needed without them.  The double edge to that sword of working for friends and family is the anticipated “friends and family” discount they’ll inevitably ask for, or worse, EXPECT.  They probably didn’t ask the other vendors for discounts… so it’s still confusing why you’re the one expected to take the cut.  The majority of your vendors are small business owners so each dollar they take off your fee is a dollar out of their child’s activities fund.
KC Wedding DJ Sad Kid
“Mommy said I can’t play because Aunt Rita is cheap.”

How to fix it:  Pay your friends a normal rate like you would anyone else.  And if you can’t bring yourself to hire your friend, go ahead and invite them… but don’t be shocked by the fact that your big day is also a zillion other people’s big day too, and your friend will more than likely be working someone else’s wedding.  Ya know, someone who is willing to pay them...

 If your friend offers a discount, be grateful and scratch their back too with referrals and reviews.  Tag their company profile in social media posts.  Those small acts of kindness will go a lot further than you can imagine and only strengthen your friendship.

 Emily Steele, who owns Emily Lynn Photography , an amazing wedding photographer based in Lawrence, KS, hesitates working for friends after an incident with a previously chummy co worker.  They hit it off fantastically during the engagement session, but once the bride's mother and sister broke rule number 9 , it all went to hell in a hand basket.  Emily ended up putting in 11 hours of shooting while she was only paid for 6 and didn't receive as much a thank you.  As you can imagine, the two don't talk any more.  Which is weird because Emily becomes BFFs with almost all of her clients.

KC Wedding DJ 27 Dresses Too Many Bridesmaids
When her boyfriend FINALLY POPS THE QUESTION, she’ll pretty much be Katherine Heigl in this scene.
Balancing a friendship is one thing, but balancing your diet is another.  That’s where we get into,

2.  Unhealthy Habits

Definitely make sure to #treatyoself every now and then.  You’re planning the biggest day of your life and carefully dodging all the unsolicited advice from everyone who finds out you’re engaged.  
KC Wedding DJ Dodging Advice Matrix Neo Bullet Time
Basically this.

One of the number one ways people relieve stress is to gorge on sweets and knock back a handle of whiskey every night. (Which packs an average of  2,500 calories  per bottle).  I doubt when you dreamed of the aisle, it didn’t include you beep-beeping your way down it in a  Rascal Scooter .

 The opposite direction is much more common.  Many brides find themselves not eating, going on crazy diets, work out routines and end up exhausted by the time they’re finally able to fit into their wedding dress that was purposefully sized too small in the first place for their “motivation” to lose weight.

 How to fix it :  Make healthy habits a way of life; get enough sleep, eat right and limit your alcohol intake before your wedding.  Being sick, sad, sleepy, just plain exhausted or worse on your wedding day?  

KC Wedding DJ Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo Dat
Oh, but the cardinal sin.  The one that makes me want to hang up my headphones and retire about once per season is,

1.  Preventing Vendors from Doing Their Job

And here we are… the actual inspiration for this article.  If you did your research and hired experienced vendors, please let them advocate for your investment.  

 Roy McCaulley at Crystal Entertainment , a Kansas City area DJ Company, which is almost as good as us, has spent a considerable amount of time advocating to keep “Cupid Shuffle” on the set list because it’s a party pleaser.  

KC Wedding DJ Crystal Entertainment What?
“You think YOU’VE heard The Cupid Shuffle too many times?

How to fix it:   Consult each vendor throughout the planning process.  Heed their advice.  If you're planning a 90 minute ceremony with 3 live performances and an interactive intermission... check with your officiant.  If you're having 14 attendees on each side of the altar, collaborate with your photographer to ensure they can breeze through pictures.

Although, I will admit... on occasion that I, as a DJ, have been wrong.  (Mark you calendars... I said it).  You will know the dynamic of your guests much better than we will.  After all, they're your friends and family.  If you know they're going to dance like freaks to all the awkwardness that is Prince's Darling Nikki ... push your DJ to play it anyway.  No matter how much he might cringe through it.

Derek is the owner (but prefers to be called Supreme Leader) of KC Mobile DJ & Photography , an event service provider in Kansas City.  You can follow KC Mobile DJ on the Facebooks and Instagrams or send Derek ideas, suggestions and corrections at derek@kcmobiledj.com .

You can Like and Follow Shelley Rundberg Couture Flowers beautiful designs on Facebook.  See Crystal Entertainment's awesome photos on Facebook too.

KC Mobile DJ & Photography Blog

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 We left you with the shocking fact that you may be doing TOO MUCH wedding planning. So, naturally, to begin this week's list of sabotage:

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