10 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Own Wedding - Part 1

  • By Derek Hoffman
  • 16 Jun, 2017
KC Wedding DJ Wedding Sabotage
Your wedding should be the second most special day of your life.  Backseat only to the day the Starbucks Barista finally spells your name right.  
KC Wedding DJ Barista Name
“It was a pretty awesome moment for me”
But you could be sabotaging this all-important event so hardcore that the Beastie Boys are just gonna throw their hands up and say, “ We tried to tell ya .”  The worst part?  You may not even realize it.  In such a competitive and sensitive market, seasoned professionals are afraid to tell you “If you make your guests wait 3 hours for food, you’ll be sipping your champagne through a wired jaw.” Couples do countless things along the planning route to sabotage their big day.  Things like,

10.  Avoiding Help

Even Batman has the Justice League.  Sure, you hear about a few super humans who can plan an event by themselves but spoiler alert: until you fall into a vat of nuclear buttercream icing, your only superpower will be crushing the souls of your wedding vendors and guests.  There’s no need to go all Bridezilla, Groomzilla, Monster-in-Law, Frankenbride, Creature from the Pinterest Lagoon, or any other pun I may have missed.
KC Wedding DJ Bridezilla
Is this really how you want to look at the altar?
How to fix it : Find a wedding coordinator.  Your own personal Wonder Woman or Superman.  If it’s not in the budget, I always tell my clients to pick their bossiest but most helpful coworker  ...or their least favorite Aunt.  So if you’re reading this and planning your niece’s wedding, I hate to break it to you… but… I hope you kept the receipt for that nice Keurig you bought on their registry.  
KC Wedding DJ Returns
“Oh… what’s wrong with it? It won’t plan my niece’s wedding so we have no use for it.”

Asking to be left alone is one thing, but the double edge to that sword would be,

9. Accepting Too Much Help

One bride from Overland Park, KS, who wishes to remain anonymous, (I’ll just call her Jennifer Lopez) knew early on, she didn’t want to do this alone so she enlisted the help of her Mother… who then enlisted the help of her Aunt… who then enlisted chaos.
KC Wedding DJ Chaos
This is basically her Aunt
That pair of sisters handled the wedding planning like 2 tweens fighting over a Pokemon card.  But unfortunately, this sweet little Squirtle was an innocent bride and just wanted a romantically great day.  The stress from her “helpers” made it anything but great.  From parents competing to outspend each other, to forcing unwanted design styles, to ‘honoring” family traditions…
KC Wedding DJ Twerking
“Our family has been twerking on the grooms of every generation since the American Revolution.”

J.Lo and the hubs weren’t really able to enjoy their magical day. 

How to fix it :  Limit the number of chefs in the kitchen.  Is your mother trying to enlist the help of more people?  Discretely share this article with her and tell her number 6 really jumped out at you and maybe she’ll read through the rest.  Mom, if your child shared this article with you… read this as a plea and cut the crap.  Too many chefs create too many opinions.  

Avoiding or accepting help are easy fixes, what isn’t as easy are couples with,

8.  An Unrealistic Budget

Most of us have had it at one point in our lives: Champagne taste on a beer budget.  I could (and probably will) dedicate numerous articles towards wedding budgets, but for now we’re going to focus on wedding sabotage.  The average cost per wedding is now over $30,000 .  Including rings, engagement photos, announcements, catering, wedding favors , etc.  You may be saying, “But hey, DJ Face Head, I live in the midwest… it’s not that expensive here.”
KC Wedding DJ Checkmate
"Check and mate."

Buckle up buttercup… those are midwest numbers and to top it off, the Midwest is the largest growing wedding market in the country.  This doesn’t mean you should just throw your hands up and start heading to the courthouse.

How to fix it :  Ask Daddy for more money.  Quit being poor.  Start selling scamology shakes or stupid wrap things  that don’t work

Of course we’re kidding about those fixes.  You’ll just need to make adjustments and prioritize what’s important to you.

  • An experienced photographer Vs. a n00b who doesn’t own a flash until tax season.
  • A marbled venue with solid gold toilets Vs. Dad’s back yard.
  • U2’s Bono performing for you and your guests  Vs. a Spotify playlist on full volume.
  • An 82 course meal seasoned with a pound of saffron  Vs grocery store veggie trays.
  • Open bar vs an open bar (Did you really consider skipping an open bar?  Your invite may as well read 5:00PM to 5:20PM.)  Cash bars and dry weddings aren’t just sabotage… they’re a game of wedding Russian Roulette where only 1 of the chambers are empty. 

Although one common way to cut alcohol costs is to cover beer and wine, then let your guests buy their own liquor if they prefer.

Budgeting is complicated.  If you spend 50% of your budget on your venue, you may need to cut out a vendor completely.

KC Wedding DJ Confused
My face when they say I’m too expensive but I know they dropped $20k on their venue and $4k on their photographer.

But if you cut out the florist, your photos won’t be as beautiful.

If you cut out the caterer, your guests will leave early to find food.

If you cut the DJ or band it can be hard to keep the evening on track.


If you do have to cut a vendor, you could always do what many couples try and DIY that thang… Speaking of DIYing, definitely don’t give,

7.  Too Much Power to Your Pinterest Board

Here’s a secret you may not know: Other people make and sell things that are completed and ready to go.  Miranda, a bride I spoke to in Kansas City, MO was 9 days from her wedding with 5 different unfinished pinterest projects.  Which she probably compensated for with 5 finished bottles of Xanax.
KC Mobile DJ Empty Bottle
“Don’t Judge Me”

Pinterest is fun for inspiration, but Miranda was half way through almost a half a dozen projects before she discovered that Hobby Lobby, Michael’s and Etsy already sold the completed version of her vision for less than what she spent on the supplies to make it herself.

How to fix it :  Too much research can cause analysis paralysis, but this may pay off.  Any time you see something you like, reverse google image search that picture and then choose the “shopping” option.  Or maybe just try googling a few keywords that describe what you’re looking for.

Also good for figuring out who that creep was who photo bombed your bikini pictures.
Even if the cost difference in nominal, a lot of couples should ask if their time and stress is worth the extra $50 to just buy it out right.  That leaves so much more time for planning the actual wedding and not designing it.  However, I warn you not to go overboard and do,

6.  Too Much Wedding Planning

This is ONE day.  I get it, you have a “vision” for your tablescapes.  But your guests probably aren’t going to be able to tell the difference between chartreuse and mindaro overlays.  
KC Wedding DJ Give Up
“Seriously - one is a beautiful and complimentary Spring color and the other looks like baby poo!”
Additionally, wait to set a timeline until you are conducting all your final planning meetings with your vendors.  The vendors you hired probably have hundreds of events under their belt and have seen what works and what doesn’t… If you create your own timeline, having never worked or planned a wedding before, you may be setting yourself up for failure… or you know… sabotaging your own wedding.

How to fix it:  Take a breath and realize why you’re doing this in the first place:  You’re doing this because you’re head over heals for one another OR because your fiance’s full name starts with the title, “Sultan of”.  If you’re afraid you’re over planning, set aside 1 or 2 days a week that are dedicated to everything but wedding planning.  Neither of you are allowed to talk about floral arrangements, catering, music selections or why Aunt Rita still isn’t invited.

Other than a wedding planner, the best people to consult about timelines would be:

  1. Your photographer
  2. Your venue liaison
  3. Your DJ/Band

That’s just one side of the coin… too much planning may actually be better than,

Click here to read part 2

Derek is the owner (but doesn’t like that title) of KC Mobile DJ & Photography, an event service provider in Kansas City.  You can follow KC Mobile DJ on the Facebooks and Instagrams or contact Derek at derek@kcmobiledj.com .

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Last week we graced you with How You May be Sabotaging Your Wedding: Part 1 , and even though we'll probably have a gazillion more blog posts on this, we continue this week with How You May be Sabotaging Your Own Wedding: Part 2.

 We left you with the shocking fact that you may be doing TOO MUCH wedding planning. So, naturally, to begin this week's list of sabotage:

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